My Beard is a Celebrity

People love to comment on my beard. It’s not that there’s anything special about it. I’ve seen far better groomed beards than my own, but when I grow my beard out it will invariably, throughout the day, give rise to conversation. It’s like walking through a gauntlet the moment I pass through the doors at work. I’ll get comments regarding Brian Wilson or a Sharks playoff game or sometimes they will give me the old “can’t afford a razor” joke. All the men approve of it, however, the women seem to be divided. About half of them like it and the other half seem to think they own stock in my beard and tell me to shave it off. So even though there may be nothing particularly eye-catching about my beard people comment on it for the following reason: I am inconsistent with my facial hair. Actually, I’m very consistent; cyclic in fact. You could model the growth of my beard by a sawtooth wave. I let it grow and after about 10 days my neck scruff begins to itch so I shave it off (all of it). Then I go into work the next day and everyone is surprised. Ah well, it’s not that I don’t enjoy the attention, you’d just think people would get used to my ever changing beard. And about the attention, let it be known, the only reason I do this, is out of pure laziness (and sometimes out of pure hatred towards the cost of razors). Here are some photos of when I was being particularly lazy.

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